When you lose someone you love

I was talking to a friend this week who lost an adult child to suicide a few months ago. I asked her what the hardest thing for her to come to terms with is. She said something that struck me. Hard.

“Grieving is not about getting over loss. It’s about learning to live with a new reality…one you did not choose.”

When we lose someone we love – however it happens – it is a new reality. And rarely one we would have chosen. Ever.

I’ve lost someone I love deeply. I get what my friend is saying. It doesn’t mean there isn’t peace. It doesn’t mean there isn’t joy. It doesn’t mean I’m not content or hopeful. It means that I am aware of this new reality and it isn’t one I would have ever chosen.

I’m so grateful for the Comforter. The Holy Spirit. Inside. I’m so glad that I can give every burden to Jesus and cast all my cares and concerns on Him because He cares for me. I have His Word on it.

And I am wildly grateful for the future we have in eternity. Grateful for forever with the Lord and those we love when we are reunited in heaven. Because that will make this time seem outrageously small and short. Here’s to forever with those we love. Heaven…be there.


When things aren’t like we want them to be…









Habakkuk 3:17-18

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!

Wow! That is quite the list!!

We may not be growing figs, grapes and olives or breeding and tending livestock, but most of us are working to grow, prosper, and increase in the ways that bring good things to life in our lives. We want to be able to have decent food, shelter, and clothing. To enjoy good relationships. To see strong results from our efforts. And we aren’t too happy when things aren’t working out like we want them to work out.

I’ve been thinking about joy. How it has NOTHING to do with circumstances. Being happy has to do with circumstances. Being joyful is an inside job. A choice. An action. A way of being.

I love how the writer declares that in all of this crisis, loss, and emptiness – in all that he sees around him, he WILL rejoice in the LORD. He WILL be joyful. Not about the circumstances. Not about the challenges. Not about the difficulties. Not about the disappointments. In spite of them. Smack dab in the middle of them. A quality decision. Purposed joy. Purposed focus on God. His goodness. His faithfulness.  [Read more…]