When you lose someone you love

I was talking to a friend this week who lost an adult child to suicide a few months ago. I asked her what the hardest thing for her to come to terms with is. She said something that struck me. Hard.

“Grieving is not about getting over loss. It’s about learning to live with a new reality…one you did not choose.”

When we lose someone we love – however it happens – it is a new reality. And rarely one we would have chosen. Ever.

I’ve lost someone I love deeply. I get what my friend is saying. It doesn’t mean there isn’t peace. It doesn’t mean there isn’t joy. It doesn’t mean I’m not content or hopeful. It means that I am aware of this new reality and it isn’t one I would have ever chosen.

I’m so grateful for the Comforter. The Holy Spirit. Inside. I’m so glad that I can give every burden to Jesus and cast all my cares and concerns on Him because He cares for me. I have His Word on it.

And I am wildly grateful for the future we have in eternity. Grateful for forever with the Lord and those we love when we are reunited in heaven. Because that will make this time seem outrageously small and short. Here’s to forever with those we love. Heaven…be there.



Several years ago, I attended two sessions taught by Debby at a national conference. Even though most of my contact with Debby has ‘just’ been via reading her posts (not ‘in person’), I consider her my mentor and look forward to gleaning more from the lessons God is teaching her. Through her teaching, God not only reinforced truths He had been showing me over the past several years (which I was beginning to doubt), but He urged me to always trust His Word over circumstances.
Cindy Bowden Wessel